Are you a worrier or a warrior?

What is the difference...

In the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale, he provides readers with ten step process of cutting the worry habit and here I share my views on some of these steps.

1. Take GOD's help in breaking the worry habit. We all know that worrying is a bad habit, admitting it and working towards improving one's habits is the first step.

2. How do you get good at things? The more you practice a habit or skill, the better you get at it. Worry is no different, the more you worry the more it gains control of your life. Next time you have the thought of worry, practice faith - can be faith in GOD, higher power, others or even self (I am not promoting any religion or beliefs).

3. Ahh, thats sounds great, but how do I practice faith - its easier said than done - WRONG. It is quite easy. The author recommends that you shout aloud "I Believe" atleast three times every morning before getting off bed. I personally like to take 3 deep breathes and think of my past achievements and future capabilities and opportunities. This action releases in your a sense of achievement and helps you in increasing your faith quotient.

4. After (or during) deep breathes I chant in myself
"Power In" - "Fear Out"
"Faith In" - "Doubt Out"
"Happiness In" - "Worry Out"
These steps have particularly helped me breaking the worry habit. I am not perfect yet, but I am getting there. The best part of this exercise is that by the third time you have mentally prepared yourselves, there is actually nothing more to worry about.
DISCLAIMER: Problems or issues are not vanished by repeating this process. However, we now have renewed energy to focus and work towards fixing the issue than only worrying.

In short, worrying is like idling an engine - makes all the noise the world can hear, uses up fuel energy, releases toxic gases into the environment, but does not make the vehicle move forward. To move forward, you have to release the fear hand brake and press the faith accelerator.

5. Trust and faith in GOD act as catalysts in helping you break this habit. No matter how bad a situation you are in, always remember -
"Everything happens for good"
"All is Well now, All has been well till now and All will be well from today on"
"There is always the helping hand of GOD on your shoulder and he is always by your side to help and assist you in every endeavor".

6. Be positive and excited about the future. You are worrying because you are too focussed on the results and are not sure if it will turn out exactly as you planned it to be. Speak the solution in time of worry and don't reaffirm the worry. Everytime you reaffirm the worry, your worry muscles in brain become stronger and outwin the solution nerves that are trying to help you. Do you want your mind to think of solution, flex them - show them off !!!

7. Immigration status, politics and sports. Unless your job requires you to learn about them to put food on the table - try avoiding such conversations as they usually lead to unnecessary distractions. Always remember
"Average men talk about people and their past, good men talk about events and their prominence and great minds talk about ideas and possibility"

8. One reason you are worried is your mind is saturated with defeat thoughts, past rejections and failures. These are hindering your progress. Saturate your mind with possibility thoughts - sure it will sound artificial at first, uncomfortable and annoying but one thing for sure is that you start to look forward for the upcoming events than trying to escape them.

9. Surround yourself with positive people. People who are ahead of you - both financial and personal relationships. They are your support team and help you overcome your fears and worries by providing you with environment to grow and achieve.

10. ACTION is the next step. What differentiates between worriers and who have overcome their worries to become warriors is a simple word called "I".

The day we all realize that we do not need a reason to be happy though we have all the reasons to be happy is the day we truly break away from the worry habit to become warriors.

The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.

Little Moments of Joy - Barry Kingsley

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry.

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep.

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940’s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said.

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers,” I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient at the end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware–beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, …but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Think and dream - atleast once in a while

Man is different from all other species because of his ability to think and dream. Last time I heard or read - animals don't think or dream about their future, goals or analyze what if situations of the past. Now that we know we have the ability does not mean we take it for granted. It takes effort to think or to dream or to analyze - it is free though!

When a person can dream, think the dream, analyze the dream and is willing to work the dream, does the dream become a reality. I have a strong belief that no two people dreams are alike - as no two people are too. And that in itself is pretty profound as everyone is put on this earth to achieve a goal for the greater good and play a large role in the magnificent drama. But all too often, people consider dreams as only manifestations of the current times. They are - but sometimes are also clues in unlocking the human potential in the future.

Do not believe it? Lets talk about you for a second, for I believe nobody else is as successful as you are in the given circumstances of life or situation you are in.

Do you know how to ride a bicycle?

Do you know how to drive a car?

Do you know how to fly an an aeroplane?

Answer these to yourself. Lets take bicycle example - how did you get the desire to ride one - you watched or heard someone actually perform this task - this planted a dream to be able to ride a bicycle for yourself. Did you stop there? ofcourse not - learnt it using your friend's or rental or cousin's bicycle. Did you learn it the first time you rode it - again ofcourse not there were set of specific mistakes that YOU had to personally do yourself, inspite of the training or helping hand available from others. You eventually did make it - now that you know how to ride a bicycle did you start putting in your character to it - Simple things like driving with one hand, pedaling only during upslope, braking or not braking by taking the 'cuts'.

Same was the principle of process involved when learning to drive the car for the first time - sure it had many more controls than that of the bicycle, but aren't you grown up as well, have experience of the road and known the traffic rules. Was learning to drive the car difficult - yes, but was it impossible - no. Now that you know how to drive the car, it is easier to add your character to the driving experience - driving with one hand on steering, the hand talking into the cell phone or saying hi to the other guy one finger at a time.

The process is the same, you dream of driving the car, but the car did not materialize before you just because you wanted it in your dream - you had to work for it, which included - enrolling in a car driving course, not just enrolling actually taking up the classes, getting the driver permit and in the end buying or leasing or renting a car. Dreams propelled you to think, act, react and finally achieve what you initially started off to attain.

If the process was this simple why do we stop to dream or achieve our dreams as we age - that is a topic of discussion for some other day, but for now fellas - dream, dream big, dreams 'texas' big - for its free and your birth right. Nobody has right to laugh at your dreams. People who laugh at others dreams don't have dreams of their own or have forgotten how to dream. But don't just dream too, back it up with thought, plan and action.

Dreams you have are unique, that is the reason you are unique, now what you do about your dreams decide if you are one in the herd or the shepherd. GOD does not give you the ability to dream until he is sure you have the ability to attain it.

Trust me GOD does not make junk and you are NOT junk.

God has always been planning things for me - Shobha Warrier

http://www.rediff.com/news/2008/jul/28sl1.htm

Naga Naresh Karuturi has just passed out of IIT Madras in Computer Science and has joined Google in Bangalore.

You may ask, what's so special about this 21-year-old when there are hundreds of students passing out from various IITs and joining big companies like Google?

Naresh is special. His parents are illiterate. He has no legs and moves around in his powered wheel chair. (In fact, when I could not locate his lab, he told me over the mobile phone, 'I will come and pick you up'. And in no time, he was there to guide me)

Ever smiling, optimistic and full of spirit; that is Naresh. He says, "God has always been planning things for me. That is why I feel I am lucky."

Read why Naresh feels he is lucky.

Childhood in a village
I spent the first seven years of my life in Teeparru, a small village in Andhra Pradesh, on the banks of the river Godavari. My father Prasad was a lorry driver and my mother Kumari, a house wife. Though they were illiterate, my parents instilled in me and my elder sister (Sirisha) the importance of studying.

Looking back, one thing that surprises me now is the way my father taught me when I was in the 1st and 2nd standards. My father would ask me questions from the text book, and I would answer them. At that time, I didn't know he could not read or write but to make me happy, he helped me in my studies!

Another memory that doesn't go away is the floods in the village and how I was carried on top of a buffalo by my uncle. I also remember plucking fruits from a tree that was full of thorns.

I used to be very naughty, running around and playing all the time with my friends. I used to get a lot of scolding for disturbing the elders who slept in the afternoon. The moment they started scolding, I would run away to the fields!

I also remember finishing my school work fast in class and sleeping on the teacher's lap!

January 11, 1993, the fateful day
On the January 11, 1993 when we had the Sankranti holidays, my mother took my sister and me to a nearby village for a family function. From there we were to go with our grandmother to our native place. But my grandmother did not come there. As there were no buses that day, my mother took a lift in my father's friend's lorry. As there were many people in the lorry, he made me sit next to him, close to the door.

It was my fault; I fiddled with the door latch and it opened wide throwing me out. As I fell, my legs got cut by the iron rods protruding from the lorry. Nothing happened to me except scratches on my legs.

The accident had happened just in front of a big private hospital but they refused to treat me saying it was an accident case. Then a police constable who was passing by took us to a government hospital.

First I underwent an operation as my small intestine got twisted. The doctors also bandaged my legs. I was there for a week. When the doctors found that gangrene had developed and it had reached up to my knees, they asked my father to take me to a district hospital. There, the doctors scolded my parents a lot for neglecting the wounds and allowing the gangrene to develop. But what could my ignorant parents do?

In no time, both my legs were amputated up to the hips.

I remember waking up and asking my mother, where are my legs? I also remember that my mother cried when I asked the question. I was in the hospital for three months.

Life without legs
I don't think my life changed dramatically after I lost both my legs. Because all at home were doting on me, I was enjoying all the attention rather than pitying myself. I was happy that I got a lot of fruits and biscuits.

'I never wallowed in self-pity'

July 28, 2008

The day I reached my village, my house was flooded with curious people; all of them wanted to know how a boy without legs looked. But I was not bothered; I was happy to see so many of them coming to see me, especially my friends!

All my friends saw to it that I was part of all the games they played; they carried me everywhere.

God's hand
I believe in God. I believe in destiny. I feel he plans everything for you. If not for the accident, we would not have moved from the village to Tanuku, a town. There I joined a missionary school, and my father built a house next to the school. Till the tenth standard, I studied in that school.

If I had continued in Teeparu, I may not have studied after the 10th. I may have started working as a farmer or someone like that after my studies. I am sure God had other plans for me.

My sister, my friend
When the school was about to reopen, my parents moved from Teeparu to Tanuku, a town, and admitted both of us in MSFS missionary school where I was given free education up to 10th standard. They decided to put my sister also in the same class though she is two years older. They thought she could take care of me if both of us were in the same class. My sister never complained.

She would be there for everything. Many of my friends used to tell me, you are so lucky to have such a loving sister. There are many who do not care for their siblings.

She carried me in the school for a few years and after a while, my friends took over the task. When I got the tricycle, my sister used to push me around in the school.

My life, I would say, was normal, as everyone treated me like a normal kid. I never wallowed in self-pity. I was a happy boy and competed with others to be on top and the others also looked at me as a competitor.

Inspiration
I was inspired by two people when in school; my maths teacher Pramod Lal who encouraged me to participate in various local talent tests, and a brilliant boy called Chowdhary, who was my senior.

When I came to know that he had joined Gowtham Junior College to prepare for IIT-JEE, it became my dream too. I was school first in 10th scoring 542/600.

Because I topped in the state exams, Gowtham Junior College waived the fee for me. Pramod Sir's recommendation also helped. The fee was around Rs 50,000 per year, which my parents could never afford.

Moving to a residential school
Living in a residential school was a big change for me because till then my life centred around home and school and I had my parents and sister to take care of all my needs. It was the first time that I was interacting with society. It took one year for me to adjust to the new life.

There, my inspiration was a boy called K K S Bhaskar who was in the top 10 in IIT-JEE exams. He used to come to our school to encourage us. Though my parents didn't know anything about Gowtham Junior School or IIT, they always saw to it that I was encouraged in whatever I wanted to do. If the results were good, they would praise me to the skies and if bad, they would try to see something good in that. They did not want me to feel bad.

They are such wonderful supportive parents.

Life at IIT- Madras
Though my overall rank in the IIT-JEE was not that great (1992), I was 4th in the physically handicapped category. So, I joined IIT, Madras to study Computer Science.

Here, I looked up to many students at IIT, and one of them was Karthik who was in the same hostel.

He had asked for attached bathrooms for those with special needs before I came here itself. So, when I came here, the room had attached bath. He used to help me and guide me a lot when I was here.

I evolved as a person in these four years, both academically and personally. It has been a great experience studying here. The people I was interacting with were so brilliant that I felt privileged to sit along with them in the class. Just by speaking to my lab mates, I gained a lot.

'There are more good people in society than bad ones'

July 28, 2008

Words are inadequate to express my gratitude to Prof Pandurangan and all my lab mates; all were simply great. I was sent to Boston along with four others for our internship by Prof Pandurangan. It was a great experience.

Joining Google R&D
I did not want to pursue PhD as I wanted my parents to take rest now.

Morgan Stanley selected me first but I preferred Google because I wanted to work in pure computer science, algorithms and game theory.

I am lucky
Do you know why I say I am lucky?

I get help from total strangers without me asking for it. Once after my second year at IIT, I with some of my friends was travelling in a train for a conference. We met a kind gentleman called Sundar in the train, and he has been taking care of my hostel fees from then on.

I have to mention about Jaipur foot. I had Jaipur foot when I was in 3rd standard. After two years, I stopped using them. As I had almost no stems on my legs, it was very tough to tie them to the body. I found walking with Jaipur foot very, very slow. Sitting also was a problem. I found my tricycle faster because I am one guy who wants to do things faster.

One great thing about the hospital is, they don't think their role ends by just fixing the Jaipur foot; they arrange for livelihood for all. They asked me what help I needed from them. I told them at that time, if I got into an IIT, I needed financial help from them. So, from the day I joined IIT, Madras, my fees were taken care of by them. So, my education at the IIT was never a burden on my parents and they could take care of my sister's Nursing studies.

Surprise awaited me at IIT
After my first year, when I went home, two things happened here at the Institute without my knowledge.

I got a letter from my department that they had arranged a lift and ramps at the department for me. It also said that if I came a bit early and checked whether it met with my requirements, it would be good.

Second surprise was, the Dean, Prof Idichandy and the Students General Secretary, Prasad had located a place that sold powered wheel chairs. The cost was Rs 55,000. What they did was, they did not buy the wheel chair; they gave me the money so that the wheel chair belonged to me and not the institute.

My life changed after that. I felt free and independent.

That's why I say I am lucky. God has planned things for me and takes care of me at every step.

The world is full of good people
I also feel if you are motivated and show some initiative, people around you will always help you. I also feel there are more good people in society than bad ones. I want all those who read this to feel that if Naresh can achieve something in life, you can too.

Winners may analyze but never rationalize

Monkey-hunters use a box with an opening at the top, big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in. Inside the box are nuts. The monkey grabs the nuts and now its hand becomes a fist. The monkey tries to get its hand out but the opening is big enough for the hand to slide in, but too small for the fist to come out. Now the monkey has a choice, either to let go off the nuts and be free forever or hang on to the nuts and get caught. Guess what it picks every time? You guessed it. He hangs on to the nuts and gets caught.

We are no different from monkeys. We all hang on to some nuts that keep us from going forward in life. We keep rationalizing by saying, "I cannot do this because . . ." and whatever comes after "because" are the nuts that we are hanging on to which are holding
us back. Successful people don't rationalize. Two things determine if a person will be a success: reasons and results. Reasons don't count while results do. A good advice for failure is: Don't think, don't ask and don't listen. Just rationalize.

Everything happens for the GOOD

There was once a King who had a wise advisor. The advisor followed the King everywhere, and his favorite advice was, “Everything happens for the good”. One day the King went hunting and had a little accident. He shot an arrow at his own foot and was injured. He asked the advisor what he thought about the accident, to which the advisor replied, “Everything happens for the good”. This time the King was really upset and ordered for his advisor to be put in prison. The King asked his advisor, “Now, what do you think?” The advisor again replied, “Everything happens for the good”. So the advisor remained in prison.

The King later went on a hunting trip, this time without the advisor. The King was then captured by some cannibals. He was taken to the cannibals' camp where he was to be the evening meal for the cannibals. Before putting him into the cooking pot he was thoroughly inspected. The cannibals saw the wound on the King’s foot and decided to throw him back into the jungle. According to the cannibals' tradition, they would not eat anything that was imperfect. As a result the King was spared. The King suddenly realized what his advisor said was true. The advisor also escaped death because had he not been in prison, he would have followed the King on the hunting trip, and would have ended up in the cooking pot.